Delayed Parenting......Towards an Orphaned Old Age.

Delayed Parenting......Towards an Orphaned Old Age.

by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala

How rightly the Qur’an says in Surah An’am ch6, verse 140 : In loss are those who kill their children out of foolishness, without knowledge ‘Aging China faces labor problem’ The Chinese news agencies have been continuously announcing a near future threat. There are more number of growing elders in China depended on the youth. The ratio is getting imbalanced. ‘Child birth’ is a term which has a variety of meanings from people to people, country to country, culture to culture, race to race and civilizations to civilizations.

For the Chinese and the Japanese it is a requirement for their survival. For the Americans it is an obstacle for their parties, fun. For the Indians, it depends, upon the child, a ‘boy’ or a ‘girl”. Indians would put a son in the column of ‘long term investment’ where as the daughter is pushed in the column of liability. For the working couples in metropolitan cities having a baby is like unwanted nails or hair, requiring to be discarded. For fornicating women it is a shame. The Chinese youth is feeling the pressure.

No wonder many weak grandparents in China are being deserted in the woods, sea shores or left on the highways by their third generation to cut down expenditure. Take for example. I am a Chinese young man in twenty and I choose to have just one child. My wife and I both of us are the only child of our parents who followed one child per couple policy in the early Eighties. Twenty years later when my child grows up and I am into retirement, he will have to earn for me and my wife and also his grand parents paternal and maternal. Meanwhile he will get married to a woman who is the only child of her parents. So my son has to earn for how many people? Ten people! And suppose my only son dies, how many of us are left orphaned !

 In Europe the entire population is shrinking but the reasons are different. 31 percent of British women think that marriage is not necessary. In Britain the number of childless women has been doubled in the last 20 years. In Japan 56 percent of 30 years old are still childless. Greece enjoys the lowest birth rate in the Europe. The ratio is 1 child per 3 women! Children are the pillars of society. Europe is running short of babies too. The outlook towards building of homes is over powered by the desire to buy a house. As they say in English : House is built by bricks but a home is built by hearts. Childless women are no more looked down upon as barren spinsters.

Even in Urban orthodox India many women working as executives prefer to execute their child

in their own wombs. We are looking forward for days when child seats in the cars will be replaced by dog crates. In many societies dogs and cats are given a preference over kids. Children are considered to be a major disturbing factor in holidays, restaurants, parties ... in the

European culture.

Only recently the Pope said that he wanted the Roman Catholics to produce more babies. Why do many couples don’t want to have babies. Men are reluctant to family commitment where as women don’t want to trade their independence with loads of children. Recent surveys have revealed that the western women don’t marry to have children but to enjoy social and financial security. Little do they realize that within two decades, with the appearance of wrinkles and grey hair, and weakness of old age will make her need more social and financial security. Who will look after them? Whom will they talk to in their lonely hours? Some one commented : As Europe heads towards a childless society and India heads towards a daughter less society we hope that the planet is not left out with just males. Don't forget that your children are your future guardians. Don’t be orphaned in your old age

Author : Nisaar Yusuf observes the society from Islamic view point. He can be reached at

nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com