Some Painful Departures From Our Lives

Some Painful Departures From Our Lives…

by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala

Three types of departures are most painful. They are, the death of a near or a dear one, parting of a daughter after her marriage and the parting of a son, who leaves his parents to stay separately with his wife and children.

In 1989, we parted from our grandmother, to stay separately, as our families were growing larger than our house. My grandmother was in her last years of cancer and we had a huge family of seven brothers, my father being the second eldest, so it was essential for us to shift in a new house. When we parted, my grandmother grieved. There were no tears but the face could not hide the pain of parting from a son who stayed for 45 years with her.I still remember the painful words when she told me " Nisaar Keep coming" That night was the loneliest night of my life. The first thing I did in the morning was to go back to my grand ma and sat with her for an hour. Few months later she died.

My house is just few doors away from my parents house, but my mother waits for me every day.She must see me, she must talk to me .We too claim to love our parents but we cannot return our parent's love with that intensity. I know this elderly man in my locality staying in a slum, whose grown up son is suffering from kidney failure. The old man is willing todonate his kidney to save his son.

I heard Dr Israr Ahmed in one of his talk, saying that he had five daughters and two of his daughters returned back, one as a divorcee and the other as a widow. The wise man then continued “ It is very sad to note that fathers of the brides are expected to contribute for the wedding reception when it is not the Sunnah.. How can you expect a father to celebrate the departure of his loving daughter….! I agree with him therefore I am reluctant to attend a wedding ceremony where a father is coughing up a share to celebrate the departure of his daughter. It is hard to digest that fathers are happily celebrating when their daughters are leaving them.

 My great maternal great grandfather had seven daughters and no son. He sold milk and curd and saved money to take each of his daughters for Haj along with him. Turn by turn each of his daughters got married and the old man was alone in his old age, with just a widow daughter along his side. The huge house was empty when daughter after daughter got married When Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) left the world, there was a stunned silence in Madina Munawarra. Bilal (r.a.) could not deliver the adhan, the pain of the prophet’s departure caused him to leave Madina and for years he did not return. Once he came and the grand children of the Prophet (pbuh) insisted that he deliver the adhan. Bilal (r.a.) delivered. The sound of the adhan of the Prophet’s time brought back the memory of the prophet’s day, back. People ran out of their houses crying, upon hearing the adhan.

Each one of us will die one day or other. Then there will be no one writing on our Grave book walls, like we write on face book walls, nor can we write on our own grave-walls for the people

to read. There will be no clicks of like and comments allowed. When we depart, people on the earth will discuss “what has he left behind?” and when we reach the heaven, the angels will discuss “what has he brought along with?”, though we care more about what we leave behind for our inheritors rather than what we carry along with us or what we send forth. The crowd that flocks on our face book walls and the list of our friends will be of no use unless they benefit from what we share on our face book.

Moral of this editorial:

Dont waste your time just loitering in the bye lanes of face book and gossiping with friends or sticking before the TV,but meet your relatives especially your parents, grandparents, and give them a good company, who know how long are we together!

Only then Allah will click 'LIKE' to your deeds. Inshallah

Author: Nisaar Yusuf  is assosiated with IRF & Peace TV he writes on socio- educational topics from Islamic perspective.