On Choosing a Spouse..What to Look and What to Over Look?
by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala on Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 2:03pm
I have a friend who has few daughters and all of them are above 30 years and highely educated but none of them is yet married. The reason is hard to believe. " I did not find a proper practising Muslim " the man replied casually moving his hand in his beard. There was no regret on his face to display either the shortage of good boys or how long his daughters will remain unmarried ! Some of us are radicallly liberal while some go to radical extreme when it comes to judging others. Some go for materialistic fulfilment while the rest keep on resting on just spiritual appeitite. There are no workshops or seminars in training the parents or the guardians how to finalise or short list a marriage proposal..
The Wedding season is here and many marraiges are also being fixed so allow me to share some valueable advice to those who are about to say yes or no to a proposal. Many youth are confused as to what should they look and what should they over look while finalising the deal. There are some questions which must be tagged to the most common questions posed to the prospective grooms. "How much do you earn ?" cannot be struck of thinking it to be a materialistic question but add a sub question to it..." Is your earning certified by the shariah ?' You an add more questions on his expenditure too. See if he is into more expenditure than his income.
One of the most significant signs of excellence in the religion is how one conducts his financial affairs. " is that vehicle bought through loan?.. Or is the house bought on loan...? This will give you an idiea of how is earnings and expenses are. If the earnings are haram then with all the luxury and other facilities he offers the girls yet he is at war with Allah and his Messenger peace be upon him. So no chance of happiness. You can buy a bed but cannot buy a peaceful sleep.
Let me be honest with my readers " an overwhelming large numbers of practising Muslim boys come from the middle class families " Let me be more honest. All the muslims boys are not as handsome as movie stars and nor are all boys as rich as children of priviledge class.Some compromises have to made especially in the materialistic department, because there can be no compromise on shariah, and as Surah Room says " It is Allah who has put affection and mercy in the hearts of spouses......after all it is a comfortable akhera that you are looking for.
Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala speaks and writes on Islam and Muslims. He can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com
Taken From
by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala on Saturday, December 10, 2011 at 2:03pm
I have a friend who has few daughters and all of them are above 30 years and highely educated but none of them is yet married. The reason is hard to believe. " I did not find a proper practising Muslim " the man replied casually moving his hand in his beard. There was no regret on his face to display either the shortage of good boys or how long his daughters will remain unmarried ! Some of us are radicallly liberal while some go to radical extreme when it comes to judging others. Some go for materialistic fulfilment while the rest keep on resting on just spiritual appeitite. There are no workshops or seminars in training the parents or the guardians how to finalise or short list a marriage proposal..
The Wedding season is here and many marraiges are also being fixed so allow me to share some valueable advice to those who are about to say yes or no to a proposal. Many youth are confused as to what should they look and what should they over look while finalising the deal. There are some questions which must be tagged to the most common questions posed to the prospective grooms. "How much do you earn ?" cannot be struck of thinking it to be a materialistic question but add a sub question to it..." Is your earning certified by the shariah ?' You an add more questions on his expenditure too. See if he is into more expenditure than his income.
One of the most significant signs of excellence in the religion is how one conducts his financial affairs. " is that vehicle bought through loan?.. Or is the house bought on loan...? This will give you an idiea of how is earnings and expenses are. If the earnings are haram then with all the luxury and other facilities he offers the girls yet he is at war with Allah and his Messenger peace be upon him. So no chance of happiness. You can buy a bed but cannot buy a peaceful sleep.
Let me be honest with my readers " an overwhelming large numbers of practising Muslim boys come from the middle class families " Let me be more honest. All the muslims boys are not as handsome as movie stars and nor are all boys as rich as children of priviledge class.Some compromises have to made especially in the materialistic department, because there can be no compromise on shariah, and as Surah Room says " It is Allah who has put affection and mercy in the hearts of spouses......after all it is a comfortable akhera that you are looking for.
Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala speaks and writes on Islam and Muslims. He can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com
Taken From
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