Friday, May 6, 2011

That Lonely Woman... Have you understood her?

That Lonely Woman... Have you understood her?

by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala on Saturday, April 30, 2011 at 7:08pm

Few years back I noted a janazah being carried away. Two ladies stood far off and wept consoling each other.  I asked my aunty, who was along with me to inquire about them. I was told" they were the daughters of the dead woman" While we passed besides them we could hear them saying" Mamma has gone and now we don’t have any house to go " These words pierced into  my heart and forced me to think over the issue and today I am sharing it with you. When the mother dies, it s a social trend that the daughters who are married off feel that the doors of her mother's house are closed for them, the house now belongs to their brothers and sisters in law!  Its an end of her paternal house relation. Very sad!

  How ruthless have we become in this matter! A girl, when she is born it is said " she is an amanah of some one else and will be staying with us for only few years"  Then she gets married and goes to her husbands house. When she grows old her daughter gets married and goes off. She is lonely again. Then comes her the news that her mother has died. So she waits  in a lonely manner in her husband’s house for the rest of her life seeking happiness from her grandchildren or pass time in front of Tv watching serials and get entertained form other people's imaginary problems.  If she is lucky her sons are good to her, other wise her daughter in law cannot tolerate a lady in her house who shares her dominance.  This is a common story of many women. 

    In case she gets divorced or becomes a widow at a young age  it becomes very difficult for her to run her life  especially if has children to bring up. I was told about a widow who stayed with her old parents and brothers. Once her wali told me that they were looking for a good person to remarry their daughter. They told in the same breadth " don’t worry about her kids, they will stay with her grand parents!" I was hurt and I advised them " look my dear brother, If you are looking for a proposal then look for a man who would not mind to bring up her children as well...."

 Among the finest things that Islam has done to women is that  she has been put in the protection of a wali or a guardian. The Qur'an declare " ar rijal  qawwamuna  an Nisa'.. Surah nisa ch 4 verse 35.. When she is young it  is her father as her protector, when she is married it is her husband and when she grows old her sons are her qawwam... Compare her with the western women... 45 % of working western women who are deserted by their husbands and have to work to run her life..... Is not Islam a better alternative for her? or rather the only alternative?

 Author: Nisar Nadiadwala is concerned about the plight of people and helps them form Islamic view point . He can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com

Taken From-FB

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