The reason why I become Muslim by Hany Fann

The reason why I become Muslim

by Hany Fann on Monday, April 25, 2011 at 5:55pm

Lately, I was questioned by a lot of people (muslim and non-muslim) about the reason why I want to become Muslim. People who don't know me asked me because they are curious. People who know me well asked me because they care about me and happy for me. People who know me but not so well didn't even ask me and just immidiately judge me by their wrong perceptions. This note is to explain everything and to tell you my story truthfully. As I said on my banner, "You know my name, not my story".

First, I want to send a message to you before you read this note. To my friends who support me and understand me: thank you so much for always being there with me, respect my choice and support me. Without you, I can't be this strong to overcome everything. To people who judged me in a wrong perception: I know you have your own reason to judge me in your way. What I want to ask you is please put yourself in my shoes and think why I have to choose a tough way to go? Why a Vietnamese girl chose to become a Muslim right before she goes back to Vietnam, a non-muslim country? Why she chose to become a Muslim when she knows that her Vietnamese friends, her society will most likely treat her in a different way? After you have those questions settle in your mind, then please continue to read my story.

I'm a Vietnamese from Vietnam, a country where the perception about Islam is still very blur, only 0.075% of the population is Muslim. What Vietnamese know about Islam are through news: war in Afganistan, terrorist in Russia, USA, etc. All those things together created a very bad image of Islam in Vietnam. And no one wants to know more or wants to figure out the truth because they don't care. I used to be like that too, and I don't blame people who is thinking the way I did before because I understand how strong media can affect people's perception.

Then I came to Malaysia, a Muslim country to study for 2 years and I went to Indonesia to do my internship there for 2 months. My Muslim friends in these two countries more or less have changed my point of view about Islam. They are friendly, warm-hearted and kind people, there are nothing in them can be related to terrorists. But there were still some cultures and rules of Islam that I found it's hard to accept and understand. At this moment, I still thought if one day I decide to convert into any religion, Islam wouldn't be my priority.

Then I met a guy, a Muslim guy and we felt in love with each other (at this moment we didn't know bf/gf is not allowed in Islam). He was the one who showed me most beautiful things about Islam and answered all my questions about Islamic cultures and rules. For e.g: I finally understand why Muslim girls cover their body. I used to think they were forced to do so, now I know they do that for themselves to protect and save their beauties for the right man for their lives. I realized that Islam is a beautiful religion which wants to create a pure and beautiful world without any sins, that's also the answer for all the rules in Islam. The religion is beautiful itself, just bad people do bad things in the name of the religion. And that what is happening around the world right now. That moment is the moment I cleared my misunderstanding about Islam, but still I didn't see the necessary of becoming a Muslim.

Then one day, my bf (let's call him so even we r not bf/gf anymore :P) came back from a Friday pray, he cried and told me we can no longer talk to each other or see each other until we get married (if that happen) due to the religion's reasons. He felt guilty and upset about himself, and I understood that he would never do anything to break my heart, and I didn't want to see him bearing the sins because of me. So I agreed not to see him or talk to him anymore. But then I felt uncomfortable and I wanted a clearer answer. I started to do some research about Islam.

At first, I only googled about Islamic things which are related to boy and girl relationships to answer my questions. Until one day, I found a book called "The Holy Qur'an and Mordern Sciences", the book was so amazing that I read the whole book in 1 night. It explained how Mordern Science discovered things that were written in Qur'an 1,400 years ago, like the Big Bang, the fetus creation and development, etc. All those things, in my perception, can't be written by a normal person. How can a ancient person 1,400 years ago can probably know about the Big Bang? They didn't even know about whether the Earth is round or square. How can they wrote about the fetus creation and development at that time when only thousand years later, mordern people can see the whole process by the support of all the high-tech equipments? I was so amazed and that was the time when I started believe in God.

And I started to talked to God, asked him for some signal. And believe or not, those signals keeps coming to me. I know HE is there and I started to believe in The Day of Judgement. I believe that Islam is a true religion from God.

I talked to my mum about I want to convert to Muslim. She didn't agree at first since like I said, Vietnamese have a very wrong perception about Muslim. But then I opened the Qur'an, and also my Muslim friend told me that, God wants you to know that you should worship God alone and serve your parents. I looked back at my past and I felt so bad about myself. I wasn't a good daughter to my mum at all. I took her for granted and hurted her so many times. I thought loving me was her responsibility. Now I realized she has no responsibility to sacrify all her life for me nor love me with all her heart. Once I realized, I called her and ask about her health problem, care about her in the way that I should do for 21 years until now. Then she asked me why I'm so different. I told her because that's what God teaches me to do. I asked her to listen to me with an open-minded mind, to understand why I believe in Islam and why I want to become a Muslim that much. I asked her to give me a chance to prove that Islam will only can make me become a better person, a better daughter to her. And finally my mum agreed :).

After my mum agreed, my faith is so strong. I have nothing can stop me from believing in God. I learned how to pray, I read Qur'an in my free time and I even read Islam's stories as a way to release my study stress. And I planned to convert on 2nd of May (don't ask me why, just a date that I think it's beautiful :P). Then yesterday night, I used a facebook application called "Message from God" (this is also the one which delivered me so many amazing messages from God which always suitable for my current situations). The message said: "On this day, God wants you to know that decision is only wishful thinking until you take that first irreversible step. You can tell yourself that you have already decided, that nothing now can stop you, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times". I'm not gonna comment anything about this message anymore :)

That's also the reason why I decided to convert tomorow :). Some of you may ask me to think more, to check whether I'm ready for it or not. I would like to answer that, once you believe in God, there's nothing such as ready or not ready to be closer to God. Once I accept God and Islam in my life, I'm willing to obey every rules and cultures of Islam in order to be closer to God, to be forgiven by His Mercy.

So please come to the Masjid (Mosque) tomorrow at 7pm if you can to be with me in my most important turn of my life :).

Btw, my Islamic name is Aisha :)

Oh, another thing, some may think I'm converting because of the guy I love. I'm sorry to upset you, but I do this for the love of God. This is the biggest decision of my life which will affect my whole life. I won't make it because of anyone. And start from this moment we won't meet and talk to each other anymore. So please understand and respect my decision.

Thank you if you read the whole thing until this spot :P

P/S: Special thanks to Muhammad Iqbal, who showed me the right path to God and heaven, and Abeer Sadary who always be there and support me :). The "thanks" only can't describe enough how much I owed you.

Thanks everyone who is always there to support me in my big decision :)

Mailed to me by
Ahmer Ammar