Stumbling Blocks in the Way of Marriages

Stumbling Blocks in the Way of Marriages

by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala on Wednesday, August 10, 2011 at 1:12pm

 Two most important things around which the focus of many Muslim youth revolve are : Career and Marriage. They also happen to be the most confusing things of their life as they dont know how to go ahead and there are very few counsellors in these fields who can really counsel them from the Qur'an and the Hadith. So inorder to make it easy for them to understand the theme I rotate the priorities from Career and Marraige to Marriage and Career putting marriage before Career. Dont get a  happy shock. It is in the terms of responsiblity.

If you read Surah Nahl ch 16 verse 72 : Allah has made from you your mates and from your mates He makes chidren and 'hafadha' (delightful  offsprings) and provides you rizk from tayyab (good things) . Yet you believe in  baatil (falsehood) and reject the blessings of Allah? 

Have you considered the famous hadith  : The world is an transit comfort and the best comfort is a mominah wife  (pious and good natured).... Muslim 1467

 If you read the above Qur'anic verse and the hadith together you will realise that marriage is a blessings but our young people discard it , delay it and search for blessings on facebook profiles, in colleges and workplaces !!

    Many delayed marriages are a result of a stretched education after post graduation. Especially by young men. Many of them pass away their twenties and almost enter thrities yet you will find them chasing degrees after degrees and pursuing career and dreaming of becoming rich , with a house and a car before getting married ! Many of these young men think that marriage will be a stumbling block in estblishment of a career or higher education. 

  Those young people staying the West or cities like West e.g. Mumbai, Karachi, Dubai..get a lot of exposure to obscenity, the Non Muslims among them fulfil their desires through haram ways.. and this happens to  be one of their reason for avoiding marriage at the right age. Their arguements goes like this : If we can get  fun for free then why should we get married and get tied up to social and family responsiblities ? But what about the Muslims young men in these cities? Since they live in an Islamic environment they dont go for haram options like having affairs or relations out of wedlock.. so how do they attend their desires? 

  With young women it is little different. In a Western culture they are edcuated with a mental prepartion of life after divorce, long before marriage. They stay in an environment where her looks are graded and used as currency for prosperity.. they are independant because they earn..so they dont wont to be a house wife and undergo labour pain, run kitchen, check chidlren's home work while their husbands are freaking around with girls...So they too have affairs and divorces and go into live-in relations.. in other words. they use haram options... Then what about the Muslim women whose marriages are delayed? They have been brought up in a modest environment but their mariages are delayed due to her post graduation, lack of funds for marriage expenses and hunt for a rich guy..... What will they do ?

The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said “If there comes to you with a proposal of marriage one with whose religious commitment and attitude you are pleased, then marry [your daughter or female relative under your care] to him, for if you do not do that, there will be fitnah (tribulation) on earth and widespread corruption.” Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1084; Ibn Maajah, 1967. Classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah, 1022. 

  This is  a hadith which many people may find hard to implement. We have made marriage very difficult and the reasons are.. just a few, some of them global and some borrowed from un Islamic cultures.

Author Nisaar Nadiadwala speaks and writes on socio-educational issues from Islamic perspective. He can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com

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