Age of Consent or Age of Marriage! A fresh Look at Marriage Prospectives

Age of Consent or Age of Marriage! A fresh Look at Marriage Prospectives

by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala on Tuesday, June 28, 2011 at 9:44am

    Authentic narrations inform us that Abdullah bin Amr bin  al Aas the companion of the Prophet (pbuh) was only 11 years younger to his father Amr bin al Aas  (Allah be please with both). The same is said to be about Abdullah Zubair  and his father Zubair bin Awwam (Allah be please with both).

  While streaming along the local trends , some of which are global,  a mjority of Muslims have started taking some Islamic values as out dated and impossible or impractical in today's life. They may not agree with their mouth but attitudes and actions show it.

    A prominent Scholar of India who has passed his 60s got married to a young girl of 22,(and this was not an affair) people in the Muslim circle react with surprise where ever they go. Reactions are like this: What an odd couple ! How can a guardian get his daughter married to a man deserving to  be her grandfather's age! In today's time it should be better avoided...  By the way the couple is happy and don't care for the blamers. One of the comfortable ways to be happy is not to care for " what will people say" if you have not done something haram.

  If you are ashamed of Islamic values even in the permitted things then some thing is wrong with your confidence and not with the values, for, Islamic values never get  outdated.

   Among many traditions, that can be taken  proudly, which offers solutions to many pevailing problems, is the age of marriage. The West has a similar term  'The Age of Consent' which means that a girl or a boy has a liberty to choose a sleeping partner.  In some western countries including Sweden the age of consent is around 13 years, some have 16 years so the  news of girls getting pregnant in schools and facilities of condoms and  anti pregnancy pills are not looked down up. It is not a taboo. Islamically it is a taboo to gt involve in illict relations so the age of consent if associated with a marriage is welcomed by Islam . For example if a 13 year old girl  in Sweden gets married, Islam accepts it but a fornicating relation will not be tolerated. Government Surveys in India reveal that more than 30 percent of girls in interiror India get married efore they reach 18, but there are no statistics of girls sharing bed with boys in their schooling age. The formal is taken as a genuine concern of worry while the later is taken as 'fruits of liberty'

    The Prophet's marriage to Aisha,who was more than 10 years younger to his youngest daugther, went un protested even by his staunchest enemies. No Jew or a Christian or a Mushrik ever raised the issue, but we see that many Muslims who are educated in the secular environment feel uncomfortable on being confronted. In fact the smart Muslim would turn the tables over putting counter arguments on illict affairs among the school going children in most of the part of the world. Twenty percent of abortions carried out world wide are the done for getting rid of unwanted babies  in  illict relations.

 Islam has offered so many options to make marriage easy and zina (adultery and fornication) difficult. Consider these  norms which were very general in those time and essentially required in today's time :

   Marriages do not include expensive banquets. In one of his marriage the Prophet (pbuh) asked people to bring what ever eatables they had and the people shared the meal

  The girls can also request her guardian to send a proposal for marriage if she likes  a virtuous man. A pregnant widow deilvered  child and prepared herself  for another marriage. Her guardian found it odd and presented the matter to the Prophet (pbuh). The Prophet approved it. Sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam.

  Age factor is never an issue  in fixing up a marriage. A truthful man like  Abu Bakr as siddique never minded his daughter getting maried to the Prophet (pbuh),  Ali bin Abi Talib got his daughter married to Umar bin al Khattab.....Abdullah bin Abbas said : By Allah! Even if I knew that there is only one day left in my life yet I would get married !

  Size, shape and colour never matters...Ummuhatul Mom'ineen Sauda, the wife of the Prophet was a woman of large size , people could identify her ...Another wife  Safiyya was short and Khadija was 15 years older to the Prophet...Allah be please with them. The elderly Khadeeja and the teenage Aisha were the most dearest wives of the Prophet (pbuh) with no signs of regrets for marrying them. The Qur'an says " Indeed in the Mesenger is the best example for you to follow.......A young maiden accepted the proposal of  a dark and  short sahabi just on the recommendation of the Prophet. She did not compare her status and looks with his. Narrators say that after the  sahabi died there were offers of marriage proposals from many Noble Arabs  to this lady, who had accepted the proposal of a man not matching his looks. Abu Talha was injured in the battle of Uhud and he limped little bit but he got proposals for marraige.

Moral of the story ? Even noble men love to marry women who do not mind their physical and social  shortcomings because of their religious inclinations. This is what is expected when Muslims and Musilmah desire to marry a person of religion.

    Huge and lavish houses and lucrative careers should not be the main criteria for choosing your man. Simplicity offers the best alternate. There are very few boys who earn huge amount of money to satisfy your expensive desires and can offer you luxurious tours and branded items, and there are very few girls whose looks can fit into the image of the goodlooking females whom you have been carrying in minds after watching pictures of models and actresses.

  If you don't take up the easy route to peace and tranquilty offered by your creator then you  may have to trod on difficult paths made by others and instead of being the leaders of the world  you will be following the rest of  world meeting more miseries on the way.

Author: Nisaar Nadiadwala speaks and writes on socio-educational issues from Islamic perspective. He can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com

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